Sometimes it is very disturbing to think that I have just lived less than half of normal human life expectancy. Sometimes I feel I have seen all the good, bad and ugly of the world but as I travel to new places I meet many new angels and they put me through new experiences in life, help me to see the world outside my own mind. It is just my 6th month in Cambridge but I have meet more angels than ever. I don’t know what makes me follow these angle’s words so blindly, sometimes following their words have led me to dead-end or I like to call those dead-ends as “soft-corners”.
I have used this word “soft-corner” a million times in my life, never had a second thought about this word, and never wanted to check the meaning in the dictionary. I just wanted to believe that a corner of my heart/ mind with beautiful feelings is meant for the special people I meet in life. Outside my mind, in reality, in dictionary this soft-corner doesn’t exist, there is only a soft-spot. Now with this reality standing before me...mind is struggling to find a place for the special people and the fictional relationship my mind developed in that soft-corner. What can I do? my dear angel..why did you put me in this non-exisiting 'soft-corner', till I find my answer, I can just tell myself these lines from my favourite movie Memento! or ..maybe..this is my answer..
"I have to believe in a world outside my own mind.I have used this word “soft-corner” a million times in my life, never had a second thought about this word, and never wanted to check the meaning in the dictionary. I just wanted to believe that a corner of my heart/ mind with beautiful feelings is meant for the special people I meet in life. Outside my mind, in reality, in dictionary this soft-corner doesn’t exist, there is only a soft-spot. Now with this reality standing before me...mind is struggling to find a place for the special people and the fictional relationship my mind developed in that soft-corner. What can I do? my dear angel..why did you put me in this non-exisiting 'soft-corner', till I find my answer, I can just tell myself these lines from my favourite movie Memento! or ..maybe..this is my answer..
I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world is still there.
Do I believe the world is still there? Is it still out there? Yeah!
We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I’m no different.
Now, where was I?"
-Memento
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