January 28, 2010

Living the moment!

Today.. a... normal..happy day, I didn't feel the presence of the cultural differences which stood like a mountain few days back, I enjoyed the moment like a cake, without waiting to add that last cherry on the top, I surprised myself by going for a walk next to the river during the lunch break..I usually go to stare at the fishes swimming in the opposite current only on a stormy day! According to Joseph Campbell, thinking about happy things on a sad day can make you feel better! Today.. a happy day, I did things which I usually do when I am down and it is nice to come back to neutral from an excited state!

January 23, 2010

Who else is fine!

When east meets west...I have heard lots of stories about it from my Indian friends living in west. It is very interesting and some times very painful to see and face this struggle. So far I have met lot of Indians trying to live inside a bubble , totally ignoring the fact that there is a culture and society exist outside their bubble. But recently I met people trying make peace with the cultural conflict, just by repeating " I am fine.." ... Reminded me so much of Ross.. Where do I stand?? I feel so much westernized in the presence of an Indian and too 'indian' in the presence of my new European friends, dragged between two different worlds... All I can tell myself is... I am fine! And hope I can supress the expression of annoying "I like to control the life of people I like" Indian gene very soon !

January 19, 2010

Liquid fasting!

Planning to live on liquids for a week... Lunch and dinner for the day... Smoothie made of....

January 07, 2010


Why am I remembering the following dialogues from a very chessy movie...under the tuscan sun...sure there is a reason!

Listen,when I was a little girl,

I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs.

Finally, I'd just give up and fall asleep in the grass.

When I woke up, they were crawling all over me.

January 05, 2010

Dream Vs. Reality!

I got back to work yesterday. My colleagues were expecting me to come back with a halo after 10days of intense meditation. unfortunately didn't have one. But I did observe one nice change in me. I was able to understand how much I live in tomorrow. Just sitting in the bus to work, thinking about what is going to happen after an hour or two, who all I want to meet and who all I didn't want to, staging a big drama in my mind, and obviously getting disappointed with my reality. In the very rare case when the drama staged in my mind comes to reality, there is no freshness, the charm of the reality is lost because of its preview in my mind. Well! this conflict between the my minds anticipation and the reality was the reason for few drops of tears I shed in the recent past. Last two days as this meditation helped me to live in the present, 2010's reality seems to be more beautiful and fresh than I can ever dream about.

J.Krishnamurti puts this in his beautiful words, a very nice summary of my meditation.

There is no knowledge of tomorrow
Observation implies no accumulation of knowledge, even though knowledge is obviously necessary at a certain level: knowledge as a doctor, knowledge as a scientist, knowledge of history, of all the things that have been. After all, that is knowledge: information about the things that have been. There is no knowledge of tomorrow, only conjecture as to what might happen tomorrow, based on your knowledge of what has been. A mind that observes with knowledge is incapable of following swiftly the stream of thought. It is only by observing without the screen of knowledge that you begin to see the whole structure of your own thinking. And as you observe - which is not to condemn or accept, but simply to watch - you will find that thought comes to an end. Casually to observe an occasional thought leads nowhere, but if you observe the process of thinking and do not become an observer apart from the observed - if you see the whole movement of thought without accepting or condemning it - then that very observation puts an end immediately to thought, and therefore the mind is compassionate, it is in a state of constant mutation.


January 01, 2010


My friends and all the people I know will be surprised to know that I have spent 50 days of my adult life in total silence in 5 different countries. Those were the best days of my life, I was able to see many other sides of myself, I feel I enjoy the aloneliness and silence as much as I love talking and meeting people. I am still thinking hard to find out one emotion that I did not experience in 2009, finishing thesis, getting a new job in a beautiful place, leaving nice people, meeting new wonderful hearts etc. etc. oooh! What a year! I can say 2009 will remain as a one big landmark in my life. So, just added that final cherry on the top by spending that last few days of 2009 in total silence. Now...2010..here I come…Thanks to Vipassana! And Thanks Jo for the lovely meditating Santa!