December 29, 2007

Sleepless nights …

Sleepless nights…. It is strange to feel the same was as three years before. Three years before around the this time, I got the confirmation for my PhD in Paris, spent few weeks of sleepless nights, fighting the society for my freedom and final exit , with dreams and nightmares about venturing into this huge city without knowing a person . Landed in Paris with the enormous amount of freedom, that gave me courage to fight this western society from imposing ways to misuse my freedom. Now few more weeks to go for my vacation to India, suffering from the similar sleepless nights with dreams to see the places where I grew up and the friends who were with me during my final struggle, also nightmares about taking back home this freedom that have become a part of me. Will my society welcome me with this freedom which they never wanted to see me with?
Experiencing such conflicts and depression, no wonder the closing lines of the movie , 'Elizabeth: The Golden Age' got tears in my eyes yesterday.
“Unmarried, I have no master. Childless, I am mother to my people. God give me the strength to bear this mighty freedom."

4 comments:

sketchbook said...

Dear Umaji,
Anton surprised us so much! We had a wonderful time and it's so hard to be back. We can still hear the mokeys and birds in our ears, although none of them live in NYC.
We were fantasising that next time, you'll come too and we'll all have fun in the jungle together. that would be great. I wish you and amazing, vacation and hope that India will treat you kindly, you are a brave person and you deserve it. Love from Assaf and from me, nivi.

iamyuva said...

my society-- thatz the key. choose 'your society' and what to keep and what you can give up in you.

also, remember life is not always about choice its also about priorities.

my past 3months, was souling searching in many ways- i was thought repatriating is easy but its much difficult then relocation to new place, because of expectations.

செந்தில்நாதன் செல்லம்மாள் said...

mm.. You are right. I think our society also gives the same freedom to the woman. That’s what you could fly out to Paris. However, culture makes different. For example, here you could at least reach 911. Some one will respond immediately. Every one knows that Law is strong enough to punish the person in the short time. So, you have freedom to go any where at any time and do as you like. But in India, it is not the case. So, enjoy the freedom at right sense. I love to be in India than any where else…

செந்தில்நாதன் செல்லம்மாள் said...

mm.. You are right. I think our society also gives the same freedom to the woman. That’s what you could fly out to Paris. However, culture makes different. For example, here you could at least reach 911. Some one will respond immediately. Every one knows that Law is strong enough to punish the person in the short time. So, you have freedom to go any where at any time and do as you like. But in India, it is not the case. So, enjoy the freedom at right sense. I love to be in India than any where else…