living in 5th dimension

Ok! I was born in the country were bollywood movies are made. Sometimes I feel my life is as cheesy as a bollywood movie, a big melodrama . So last few days I tried to put this cheesy side away from me, watching my emotions in silence. This silence can be awkward sometimes, specially for my bollywood genes. Sometimes when two people meet and they exactly know what each other is thinking about, still spend that few minutes in awkward silence or have some random talk about how slow a slow ATM machine is or just keep searching for words between badmintion matches. So finally I invented this new game of imagining the 5th dimension to escape such awkward conditions. The game is just in a blink your eyes, imagine yourself having a deep breath and blow that out in your palm towards the awkward condition (same as a virtual flying kiss), you will see the awkward condition and your breath disappearing into ether in seconds. It is so much of fun. You feel like a magician disappearing the things, experiencing impermanence nature of the world in a flying kiss within few seconds, collasping the reality just by observing! Anyways! I am lucky to have friends who listen and appreciate the bollywood in me but for the rest..I have my magic virtual flying kisses.

sign languages..

Oh ! God ! I am so bad in reading sign languages, after spending 40 days of my life in silent meditation retreats I felt there are many feeling that can be conveyed without use of languages. But thanks to this puzzle (trying to read a of non-existing sign languages in pain), it got me closer to many lovely people and I was able to feel their love as they tried to put a smile back in my face!

The end of John..Keats!

After seeing the anti-climax in the two weekend movies, I am drained off all the strong emotions and just feeling the scary silence of my mind, no pain nor happiness, often I have to check if I am still alive. Luckily it is cold in UK and the chill air reminds me that my mind and body are still alive. In the end of the second movie as the man in the brown coat was walking away hand in hand with his girl with the red bag, in one of the beautiful streets of Cambridge as the christmas lights were about to go on, I wished the climax was different but still I was able to say, "they look great together", may be the climax I wished for....would not had such a perfect match?? Thus trying hard to deal with the tragic end of John...Keats stories which left me in this scary silence. As always my friends are giving me a helping hand. I had this very nice discussion about tai chi with a wonderful new angel I met in cambridge. She told me that the negative forces acting upon us can be turned into our favour just with right and very small movements of our body, I am sure that holds true for my mind too. Just with some slight postive tuning I can convert this scary silence into a very nice environement for my meditation practice.

The Girl with a red bag.

Today I spent my day in a(living a) very cheesy movie...Bollywood???.No may be.. more like a cheesy Hollywood movie, as it involves Christmas etc. Cambridge has this beautiful city centre, with a pedestrian area...no cars...old buildings and churches, gives the feel of a romantic era... Today was Cambridge Christmas light switch on ceremony. Cambridge was in a festive mood with lots of people, music, colours and lights. I was walking around this beautiful place with very pleasant friends, had good food served by a very cheerful Italian lady. I would have been in very high-spirits in such a festive season with nice people around but I think it was the memories from yesterday’s sad movie about Keats love story kept me in a low tone. It is a very strange to be very calm even when you are surrounded by stimulants for all the five senses. Just the minutes before the lights were about to go on, the man in a brown coat walks by. How on earth I was able to spot him in that Christmas crowd..That man in the brown coat..holding hands of a girl with a bling bling red bag! But I don’t want to finish this blog with “The End” as in movies....I like to finish it in a real cheesy way...Thus with the Christmas lights...lighting new hopes for a new beginning!

Long drive in the night!

Yesterday went on a long drive in the beautiful English countryside , crossing the prime meridian to meet friends in their new house. My friends who hosted me from the very first day in Cambridge and healed my post-phd depression in their woodend clinic with their lovely pets, cider and their love. They now moved to a beautiful village in the countryside ,Yesterday as I was driving through the fields, i came across fox (unfortunately without George Clooney's voice) . But the return journey almost close to midnight was bit scary,Without a single car on the dark and rainy road, trying to avoid the wild animals on the way, twice got scared by seeing my own car seats in the rear mirror :-( felt like I was playing a part in a scary movie! With that fresh adrenalin on the road to the new woodend clinic, now charged to face the whole new adventure at my work!