April 03, 2010

somethings change and others come back...

I saw few daffodils flowering in my garden and that made me to Google the Daffodils poem by William Wordsworth. I still remember reading this poem with my father as my homework during my school days and it was very difficult to understand the whole poem. It is very different from the Tamil literature and the society, which mostly talks about the powerful kings of the past or about leading a moral life. I don't remember a Tamil poem which describe the nature and how that can affect someone's life (Tamil readers please correct me if I am wrong). Also, my father had a tough time explaining the word "bliss of solitude". I used to wonder how can people be in bliss when they are alone (a condition which i never experienced in India). This word started making more sense now a days. few things that didn't make sense as child in India, started revealing its meaning now. But somethings that suffocated me as a child growing up in India like too much of unwanted attention in the name of love and kindness are still following me... Specially when I get into the conditions when I don't know how to show my love and attention to someone, that is when the things i saw learned and hated as kid started coming back to me as second nature... Last few days I lived a life that I hated the most as a kid. Now that I learned the meaning of "bliss of solitude", I think it is time to experience the bliss of solitude and let others experience that too..

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

March 30, 2010

Next passion

Using Tai-Chi to kill my excess energy..and beading to kill my spare time..! I can feel forces of nature my two new hobbies...In my 10th tai-chi class, I understood the meaning behind the slow boring movements, that epiphany encouraged me to register for 10 more weeks of tai-chi. My expensive passion for beading was fueled by inheriting 15 years collection of beads from my friends mom... be ready to read more about my beading and tai-chi journey

March 29, 2010

Let it Go - Tai-Chi!

I attended Tai-Chi practice day last weekend and had an epiphany. Past few months I was bit confused about two big external forces that was acting on me, a pair of beautiful eyes expressing very warm and pleasant attention and the other pair of eyes with very cold 'jealousy'. I was not able handle both. I spoiled few days and some sleep in speculations about the manifestation of these forces and the ways I should handle it. I was waiting in the same way as you might have seen in a hollywood or a bollywood movie, a hero flexing his muscles when the villain is approaching to attack. But tai-chi taught me a new way...to let it go! I was able to do something similar to the grandmaster in the above video, just by placing my hands over my tai-chi partner's shoulder , I was able to push him but without actually pushing him and was able to withstand the push without actually resisting to it...all just by letting the forces go through my body...all I did was removed my focus from the target, relaxing and let myself go! The cold eyes did not react in the way I was expecting and the beautiful eyes may not react the way I am expecting neither... so, last one week I was able to remove my focus from the beautiful eyes, relaxed my mind and body can let go the energy radiating from the beautiful eyes...Thank you Tai-Chi,I was able to put into practice the mantra of Tai-Chi "let it go"!

February 03, 2010

Date with destiny!

Today just after 45min train trip, I was magically transported to India. When I lived in India the only thing that happened as per my plan was taking my flight to Paris and so was my day today, nothing went as per my plan. I wanted to go to London, submit papers in Indian consulate, get back to work by lunch, have lunch with friends, play badminton, go to gym and then a potential movie...but things got stuck just at the "submitting papers" stage and ruined all the other plans...why planning doesn't work in India or in any place related to India? why do we Indians allow other people to live our life in the name of destiny? when I was discussing about this issue with one of my Indian friend living in Europe, he came up with this theory....many Indian attitudes are influenced by our belief in reincarnation... Yuva, I need your help to put this theory right!

January 28, 2010

Living the moment!

Today.. a... normal..happy day, I didn't feel the presence of the cultural differences which stood like a mountain few days back, I enjoyed the moment like a cake, without waiting to add that last cherry on the top, I surprised myself by going for a walk next to the river during the lunch break..I usually go to stare at the fishes swimming in the opposite current only on a stormy day! According to Joseph Campbell, thinking about happy things on a sad day can make you feel better! Today.. a happy day, I did things which I usually do when I am down and it is nice to come back to neutral from an excited state!