Back home!

Back home after 3 years where everything seems to be new but nothing feels like new, felt like home right from the minute I landed. After having stunning views of Himalayas from the plane, we landed in the Delhi airport. May be thanks to the recent Common wealth games, this international airport finally looked like one. The facilities in the airport may be like any other airport I have visited in European but many things around me reminded me that I am back in India. The crowd outside with garlands, waiting to receive and impress their foreign business collaborator; a very emotional grandma hugging a few months old baby, maybe she was seeing her grandchild for the first time and the group of at least 5 to 10 aunts and uncles waiting to have the first glimpse of that baby. I couldn’t stop wondering why I feel at home in both the airports where l left 8 hrs back and in the other end of the world where I landed . “ when you never lose the need to wander then you belong” these words in that huge master card adv. banner adv came as an answer to my puzzle.

We got into my friends SUV and hit the road towards Agra, they have new highways but still with old mad traffic, but I still enjoy the peaceful co-existence with cows and buffalos, we Indians still share the roads with them. The minute we entered Agra, the four lane road turned into 6 or I should say 6 and half, with traffic coming in every direction in each lane, we were in a Jam for more than an hour, just trying to untangle ourselves from the madness of the road. Finally arrived at a stunning oasis among all the madness, the most beautiful hotel I have stayed. The hotel rooms with pieces of arts replicating the works of Taj Mahal made me feel like princess, now I am in this king size carved bed waiting for the Taj Mahal to come out of the fog.

Another year of illusion!

According to my favourite Dhamma the cat, "Time is an illusion and illusions should be dealt with", Cambridge, the 15th town and 34th year of my life, which makes it an average of around 2 years per town. Dealing with this time bound illusion is more difficult when I have to meet new people every two years. can I really make new "best friend" every two years or its just me idealizing relationships. ‘Rail Sneham" a term used in Tamil for the friendships one makes over a train journey, which terminates the same time as the journey itself. I thought my friendship was more with the train than the people in it! but I don't know when I started missing the people. But it was big consolation to know that I am not the only victim of train journeys. Ruskin Bond, Indo-English author wrote "A song for the lost friends" in train. May be one day, I will stop idealizing my relationships with my train acquaintances and learn not to miss them. Until then let me miss the acquaintance, I just met during his first train journey. For one its just a journey and for the other thats the way of life! So, let me shed some tears even when they are not understood!

He called goodbye and waved
As I looked back from the bend in the road.
....
And the trains roll on, everyday
Hundreds of people coming or going or running away
Goodbye, goodbye!
Into the forest's silence,
Outside the dark tunnel,
Out of the tunnel,out of the dark
...
Twilight and evening bell,
And after the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark.
-- "A song for the lost friends" by Ruskin Bond!

Is Seeing Believing?

Not so successful in my war on fear..Screamed so much 'celebrating' hallowing weekend in scaresville in Kentwell and staying in a 16th century country house in Suffolk. Few fears made me scream, few are still hidden behind the clouds. I wish the Sun can be as brave as me, to come out and face the fears. “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” and both are our own perception of illusion, saw this very interesting 'horizon' program on our perception of illusion. Synaesthesia - The Mixing of the Senses, can be a solution to my fears?

fighting the fears!

recently..fighting some fears...fear of water..swimming 3 times a week! darkness..biking through dark fields! horror movies...watched one alone! no fear of the unknown, but of the loss of the known...how many times I yelled in this fear..no yelling ..let the bird fly..may be will come back!

A hero with thousand faces..

Many things will always remain a puzzle, one such tiny Tamil puzzle is Rajnikanth. A 60 year old man who don't know to dance sing or act is enterining the region and treated like a 'mythical' character for last 30 years. Today I got to see him in his new avatar as a robot. It was special to watch him in the silver screen, from UK along with my adventurous (non-Indian) friends who volunteered to share this 'cultural' experience with me, after all like mythologies, movies can be a dream of a society. It was a pleasant evening to revisit my childhood dream land with my friends today.