Another year of illusion!

According to my favourite Dhamma the cat, "Time is an illusion and illusions should be dealt with", Cambridge, the 15th town and 34th year of my life, which makes it an average of around 2 years per town. Dealing with this time bound illusion is more difficult when I have to meet new people every two years. can I really make new "best friend" every two years or its just me idealizing relationships. ‘Rail Sneham" a term used in Tamil for the friendships one makes over a train journey, which terminates the same time as the journey itself. I thought my friendship was more with the train than the people in it! but I don't know when I started missing the people. But it was big consolation to know that I am not the only victim of train journeys. Ruskin Bond, Indo-English author wrote "A song for the lost friends" in train. May be one day, I will stop idealizing my relationships with my train acquaintances and learn not to miss them. Until then let me miss the acquaintance, I just met during his first train journey. For one its just a journey and for the other thats the way of life! So, let me shed some tears even when they are not understood!

He called goodbye and waved
As I looked back from the bend in the road.
....
And the trains roll on, everyday
Hundreds of people coming or going or running away
Goodbye, goodbye!
Into the forest's silence,
Outside the dark tunnel,
Out of the tunnel,out of the dark
...
Twilight and evening bell,
And after the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark.
-- "A song for the lost friends" by Ruskin Bond!

Is Seeing Believing?

Not so successful in my war on fear..Screamed so much 'celebrating' hallowing weekend in scaresville in Kentwell and staying in a 16th century country house in Suffolk. Few fears made me scream, few are still hidden behind the clouds. I wish the Sun can be as brave as me, to come out and face the fears. “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” and both are our own perception of illusion, saw this very interesting 'horizon' program on our perception of illusion. Synaesthesia - The Mixing of the Senses, can be a solution to my fears?

fighting the fears!

recently..fighting some fears...fear of water..swimming 3 times a week! darkness..biking through dark fields! horror movies...watched one alone! no fear of the unknown, but of the loss of the known...how many times I yelled in this fear..no yelling ..let the bird fly..may be will come back!

A hero with thousand faces..

Many things will always remain a puzzle, one such tiny Tamil puzzle is Rajnikanth. A 60 year old man who don't know to dance sing or act is enterining the region and treated like a 'mythical' character for last 30 years. Today I got to see him in his new avatar as a robot. It was special to watch him in the silver screen, from UK along with my adventurous (non-Indian) friends who volunteered to share this 'cultural' experience with me, after all like mythologies, movies can be a dream of a society. It was a pleasant evening to revisit my childhood dream land with my friends today.

La Tête en Friche..

Among all the chaos in life, I am still enjoying the Cambridge film festival, I was able to cry along with many other audiences as I watched La tête en friche, a French movie which beautifully depicts the friendship developing in very unlikely conditions. Today again watched a French movie but this time I was not able to laugh along with other audiences, when pain and emotions can cross the barriers of language and nations, I don’t know why the sense of humour fails to cross the boundaries. How many times I have offended people with my Indian sense of humour. I often forget that I grew up in a country where there was no concept of personal space, especially between friends. I grew up in a country where asking and taking favours are part of friendship, a sign to show people that I share a special space with you and how many times I have seen a crappy movie just to share the space and time with a friend I like. After I fought my way into this new world and I do enjoy this personal space I created for myself. But I still take liberty to invade the personal spaces of friends, with my silly sense of humour and sometimes even get disappointed for my personal space not getting invaded by friends close to my heart. Finally the Swedish short movie I saw yesterday came as an answer to my recent disappointments, the movie was a small recreation of a failed bank robbery happened in Stockholm in 2006. So, let me blame the cultural differences for all my disappointments, at least until I understand the actual reasons.. La Tête en Friche...